baby: T-t-t...

mother: Honey, come quick! The baby's first words!

baby: T-t-t...

father: What is it? Toy? Truck??

baby: T-T-Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you!" Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children?! Your very lives?! And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!

stories-yet-to-be-written:

EpicDash: 32 Surreal Places On Earth That Belong In A Dream, Part 2. 

Part 1 here

1: Turquoise Ice, Lake Baikal, Russia. Lake Baikal is the largest and oldest freshwater lake in the world. In the winter, the lake freezes, but the water is so clear that you can see 130 feet below the ice. In March, frost and sun cause cracks in the ice crust, which results in the turquoise ice shards we see at the surface.

2: Pamukkale Hot Springs, Turkey. Over millions of years, the hotsprings in Pamukkale have transformed the landscape. Although it may look like these terraces are made of ice and snow, Turkey has bikini weather all year round. The ground is just coated in white limestone.

3: Sentinels of the Arctic, Finland. These sentinels are actually giant trees covered in snow and ice. This strange sight occurs in winter, when temperatures range from -40 to -15 degrees centigrade.

4: Yuanyang County, China. The farming techniques in Yuanyang County have created a landscape which is truly amazing from the air. These rice fields are located on the slopes of Ailao Mountain, where the terraced levels help create flat surfaces along an uneven landscape.

5: Fly Geyser, Nevada, USA. Fly Geyser was accidentally created when a well was drilled and left uncapped. Minerals and algae started to rise from the geyser and accumulated to form an alien-like mound.

6: Grand Prismatic Hot Spring, Wyoming, USA. Grand Prismatic Hot Spring is the largest hot spring in the United States. The vivid colors in the spring are the result of pigmented bacteria, which grow around the edges of the mineral-rich water.

7: Underwater Waterfall, Mauritius Island. Strong ocean currents continually drive sand from the shores of Mauritius into the abyss below, creating this one-of-a-kind underwater waterfall.

8 & 9: Sea of Stars, Vaadhoo Island, Maldives. It may look normal during daylight, but at night, this beach comes to life. The sparkle in the water comes from marine microbes called phytoplankton. The galaxy they paint across the shore is nothing short of breathtaking.

10: Glowworm Caves, Waitomo, New Zealand. Thousands of tiny glowworms hang to the ceiling of this grotto and radiate a luminescent light, creating a scene straight out of a sci-fi movie.

Source

earthdad:

hello ma’am i came a long way to give u a flower and to tell u how pretty u r today

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thefrogman:

SEE CHRIS AT SAN DIEGO COMICON!

My good friend and official Frog artist Chris Gugliotti will have a booth at San Diego Comicon. You can find him in the Artist’s Alley, Table BB-12

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He will have loads of his original artwork PLUS an exclusive Corg Life print signed by yours truly. 

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Please visit him and check out his amazing work. Be sure to use the secret password for a surprise. 

"NIBBLES SENT ME." 

westayedinthewater:

tobycelery:

Great Dane puppy voices his displeasure at being forced to get up early

GOD

i am this dog

(Source: videohall)

didymium:

needthisbook:

Ten Major Artists:

Wong Wong & Lulu

Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait

Pepper’s self-portrait

Tiger the spontaneous reductionist

Misty goes off the wall

Minnie, the abstract expressionist

Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.

Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch

Smokey at work

Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.

Princess, the elemental fragmentist

Charlie, the peripheral realist


I own this book and it is 100% psychoanalytic bullshit only applied to cats

didymium:

needthisbook:

Ten Major Artists:

Wong Wong & Lu Lu

Wong Wong & Lulu

Pepper gazing into the mirror before a self-portrait

Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait

Pepper painting his self-portrait

Pepper’s self-portrait

Tiger

Tiger the spontaneous reductionist

Misty in action

Misty goes off the wall

Minnie: abstract expressionist

Minnie, the abstract expressionist

Minnies finished work

Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.

Smokey contemplating

Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch

Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch

Smokey at work

Ginger's 'Stripped Bare Birds', 1992.

Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.

Princess' 'Regularly Ridiculed Rodents', 1993.

Princess, the elemental fragmentist

Charlie the peripheral realist

Charlie, the peripheral realist

I own this book and it is 100% psychoanalytic bullshit only applied to cats

kickingcones:

Give a dog a coupon, and it uses it one time. Teach a dog to cut coupons and….

ps. Meet Milly, the newest member of the wolf pack :)

operationfailure:

randomredux:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

This got even funnier when I realized that to shoot it, essentially someone had to hurl a massive rat puppet at Cary Elwes.

My favorite thing is that he doesn’t telegraph it at all. He never tenses up, never flinches, just waits for the giant rat puppet being hurled through the air to take him down. Great performance.

khatoblepas:

andsunnydays:

Animations from Richard Williams' almost-finished masterpiece
The Thief and the Cobbler (Watch the movie here)

Unofficially restored by Garrett Gilchrist 

This animation was done using 100% hand-drawn, hand-coloured cels. Frame by frame. Part by part. ALL BY HAND. I REPEAT THERE IS ZERO CG NO COMPUTER GRAPHICS THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SOME OF THE GREATEST HAND-DONE 2D ANIMATION THAT WILL EVER GRACE THIS EARTH 

It’s some of the best animated footage you will ever see.

And most of it was found in a fucking trash can.

nowhiteflags:

dickmark:

dickmark:

NIKOLA TESLA IS SUPER ADORABLE HE’S JUST WANDERING AROUND AND HIDING UNDER THINGS I’M GONNA SQUEAL

I should probably specify that Nikola Tesla is a cat and Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla is not wandering around my house hiding under things because he is dead

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Didn’t catch that last part, sorry.

(Source: aphruotsi)